(I wrote the following for a seminary class about 10 years ago. It was an attempt to state as simply as possible the Reformed position on the problem of evil. My wife found it very helpful and brings up some of its points from time to time. So perhaps others might find it helpful as well.)
The following conversation takes place at The Hair Force, an Escondido barber shop where all miserly seminary students get their hair cut. The time is Christmas break, my first chance since the beginning of the semester to trim my locks. (I imagine the quarter system will help make us students more presentable.) I enter and sit down next to a man of about 35 or 40 years. He is wearing dirty blue jeans and a Jack Daniels T-shirt. (In the film version he will be played by Robert de Niro. He speaks with a slight New York accent.) I nod politely, pull some Hebrew cards out of my pocket, and begin to study.
Man: Hey, what's that you're looking at?
Bill: These are Hebrew cards. I'm trying to learn Hebrew. I look at the Hebrew word and try to remember what the English means.
Man: So it's another language, huh? Like Spanish. What do you want to learn it for? Who speaks it? (He pulls out a cigarette and lights it.)
Bill: (Coughing) People in Israel speak it. But I'm really learning it so I can read it. I'm a Christian; I'm studying to be a pastor. I need to know Hebrew so I can read the Bible.
Man: No kidding? Maybe you can answer a question for me.
Bill: I can try.
Man: Okay. God's supposed to be good, right?
Bill: Indeed. He is very good.
Man: Exactly. I figured you'd say that. So how do you explain all this junk that happens? Every day there's rapes and murders; people get their cars stolen; guys beat each other up just 'cause of what color they are. What gives? Why does God let this kind of stuff happen?
Bill: Well, let me ask you this. Do you believe in God?
Man: Nah, not really. I mean, sometimes I do; but he's not like a big deal in my life, you know?
Bill: Then you've got a bigger problem than I do. You've asked me about what's called the Problem of Evil, but you've got a problem of good and evil.
Man: How do you figure?
Bill: Well, if there isn't a God, you've got no right to say certain things are good and other things are bad. You talk about rapes and murders, and say they're bad; but where do you get your standard? How do you know those things are wrong?
Man: I dunno. I guess I just know.
Bill: It's more than that. You know because you know God, and you know what he expects, what he thinks is good. Otherwise, when you say a murderer does something bad, he could say, "That's your standard. By my standard I'm doing something good." But as it is, you know that his standard is wrong at this point.
Man: Sure, but he's wrong because he's hurting someone else.
Bill: And how do you know that's wrong?
Man: Okay, I gotcha. I guess I'll say for now at least that there's a god who says what's good and bad. But the problem I was trying to tell you is that God allows bad, and he shouldn't do that if he's good.
Bill: It certainly seems that way to us.
Man: Is he too weak to stop it?
Bill: No. He could stop it if he wanted to. Indeed, he will stop it someday.
Man: Uh huh. So why doesn't he stop it now? Why does he let people murder and rape and all that stuff I just said? Why did he even let any of it happen at all?
Bill: Those are good questions, but you don't yet seem to understand just how big the problem is. Let's make it worse before we make it better. God doesn't just allow those crimes, he ordains them.
Man: Ordains?
Bill: Right. He, um, decrees. . . he decides on these crimes ahead of time. He picks them out and chooses for them to happen.
Man: Wow! So it is all his fault. That's pretty different from what the guy told me last month.
Bill: What? What guy last month?
Man: There was a priest guy here last month--not Catholic, some other kind. Anyway, I asked him the same question.
Bill: Was he Episcopalian?
Man: Yeah, that's what it was.
Bill: And how did he answer you?
Man: He said it was all free will. See, God gave us the choice to do good or bad because he didn't want a bunch of robots serving him. So when you see someone doing something bad, it's because he chose to do that instead of what's right.
Bill: There's a lot of truth to that, but it's not the whole picture. You see, it wasn't you or me that had to choose between good and evil; it was Adam. He chose for all of us.
Man: Who's Adam?
Bill: He was the first man God created. God put him in a garden and told him not to eat the fruit from a certain tree. Adam disobeyed God and ate it.
Man: What's that got to do with us?
Bill: He was representing you and me and every other human being when he ate the fruit. So he made us all sinful. It's kind of like politicians. They represent you, and you have to put up with your decisions even if you don't like them.
Man: But I didn't vote for Adam.
Bill: Doesn't matter. God appointed him. God picked him out as your representative, and now you're stuck with what he chose.
Man: That doesn't seem fair.
Bill: Maybe not. But God says it is. Anyway, that's how evil came into the world. Adam had a free will and he chose it. So now everyone is born evil, including you and me.
Man: Get outta here! I'm talking about murderers and rapists. I'm a hard-working guy. I pay my taxes. I try not to hurt other people. Are you saying that's evil?
Bill: Yes. Don't get me wrong. It's better than murdering and raping by a long shot. But as long as you do even these good things for the wrong reason, it's evil. See, you do all these things; but you don't do them for God, so that he gets all the credit and praise.
Man: So I'm doing it for selfish reasons, and it ends up being evil after all.
Bill: That's right.
Man: But I can't help myself. You just told me that this Adam guy made the decision for me. So I don't have a free will now.
Bill: Right again. But you're still responsible for the evil you do. You choose to do that evil; no one forces you to it. You ought to choose otherwise, but because your nature is evil you won't and can't.
Man: It seems to me that you've just made your position worse. I just had a little question about why God allows murder and rape. Now you're telling me everyone's basically evil. And what's more, you just told me a little earlier that God decided all these things ahead of time. With friends like you, God sure doesn't need enemies.
Bill: Hey, I wanted you to understand the question; because otherwise you won't understand the answer.
Man: You think you've got an answer to all this?
Bill: I've got the only answer we're given.
Man: Okay, shoot. Why does God do things this way?
Bill: For his own glory. That is, for his praise and credit.
Man: Then God does all these bad things so that good things will happen?
Bill: Not so fast. God doesn't do these bad things. He decides on them. He chooses them. He even causes them, because nothing happens unless he causes it to happen. But he doesn't do them.
Man: That sounds to me like you're saying that if I hire a hit man, I'm not guilty of murder.
Bill: Not at all. God doesn't do bad things because everything he does is good. The people through whom he does them are doing bad things because they're doing them for the wrong reasons.
Man: Say what?
Bill: Hmmmm. Maybe an analogy will help. Look, here's the way Augustine and Calvin put it.
Man: They friends of yours?
Bill: In a way, yes. You might even say they're brothers. But they died a while ago.
Man: Oh, hey man, I'm sorry.
Bill: Don't sweat it. Anyway, suppose your father is a millionaire and you're going to get all his money when he dies.
Man: Not a chance. He's broke and he hates me.
Bill: Okay, but just pretend.
Man: All right.
Bill: Now, lets say you kill your father so you can get that money. Are you doing a good thing or a bad thing?
Man: A bad thing. No question about it.
Bill: Right. But your father's death doesn't take God by surprise. God decides how long everyone lives, and it was your father's time to die. Does God have a right to do that, or is he doing something wrong?
Man: I suppose he's got the right to do that. He made my father in the first place, right? So, no, it isn't bad.
Bill: So in a sense, you were doing exactly what God wanted when you killed your father.
Man: Huh! I guess so.
Bill: But even though you're doing God's will, you're doing it for the wrong reason--to get his money. But God's doing it for the right reason--his own glory.
Man: Sure, but how does God get any glory out of me murdering my dad?
Bill: That's a harder question. We've just said that God allows--even decides on--evil for his glory. The Bible is clear on this. Now we have to say how God expects to get any glory out of the whole thing. Well, the Bible doesn't say as much about that. Basically, God says, "I don't have to answer that question, and you wouldn't understand the answer if I did."
Man: That's it?
Bill: Well, there is one tentative answer; but you won't like it.
Man: Let me hear it anyway.
Bill: He does it so his people will understand his mercy. On earth, we see how merciful and patient he is toward evil men who deserve immediate death. And in heaven, we will see hell and know fully what God has saved us from. In this way we will be able to give him even more glory.
Man: Wow. That's kind of hard to take.
Bill: I told you you wouldn't like it.
Man: But why? Couldn't he just tell you how merciful he is and you'd believe him? Why create such misery just to make a point? Is the point really that important? And couldn't he have made it another way?
Bill: Easy there! I don't know the answers. I just have to trust that God knows what he's doing, and that everything he does is right and good. (At this point one of the chairs opens up.) Hey, looks like it's your turn.
Man: (Getting up) Yeah, I guess it is. Well, thanks for talking with me. You were better than that priest. I didn't like what you said as much, but you made more sense in the end.
Bill: Thanks. I'm sorry you didn't like it.
Man: Hey, you were just being honest with me. (Turning to the barber) Yeah. Over the ears and off the collar in the back. Short, but not too short.
Bill: (Goes back to studying his Hebrew cards.)